The second annual professional Egg and Spoon race gets underway on Thursday as the GolfSixes returns to the Centurion Club at St. Albans in England.
The most electrifying format in golfing entertainment promises to pack more punch than a pumped up people’s elbow landing plush into the sternum of Vince McMahon and in case you were planning on missing it, don’t, because this is the pinnacle of human innovation brought to you by the greatest minds in the world – The European Tour Committee.
It’s golf’s version of Countdown – no, not the daytime television version of the show that has fallen from grace since the clock struck zero on the late great Richard Whiteley’s time on earth. I’m talking 8 Out of 10 Cats does Countdown, complete with raunchy one liners, comedic quips and Rachel Riley’s endless legs. It’s a newer, sexier and much more enjoyable version of an old classic… but it’s not for everyone.
‘I’d have more chance taking out the conundrum than finding any of the presenters remotely funny’, remarked one groveling dyslexic.
‘Countdown’s stood the test of time since the Romans’, suggested another, admitting that there was no need for Carol Vorderman as the numbers and letters rounds moulded into one back in those days.
Yet as much and all as I chuckle when I sit down for an episode of late night Countdown, I err on the side of caution when it comes to golf’s latest fad. Why? Because golf’s been around since long before the Roman times; for it was in the Iron Age, 1200–1000 BC, that Lord Titleist himself cast the first set of AP1s in Ancient Europe before mass producing the sport’s sharpest weapons to clubs scattered across the old, golf-crazed lands.
From there the game evolved in many ways through technological advancements, not least in the golf stone’s design; Lord Titleist’s grandson Lord Titleist credited with inventing a new dimpled golf ball, the Pro5, later renamed the ProV when the Roman Empire gained control of the earliest known brand. It was to change the game forever and indeed the traditions of that time have held strong in the art of golf ever since.
That was until a modern culture of instant gratification arrived on the scene. A generation of over-saturated social media fiends too busy for everything but a Facebook newsfeed. Well I hate to tell you, but golf has survived the test of time while Bebo and MSN messenger bit the dust like every other half-baked app idea that consumes our minds until an equally numbing alternative comes along.
Thankfully I can rest safe in the knowledge that nothing will ever beat 18-holes on a sun drenched fairway. They can wrap their six-hole extravaganza in as much shiny plastic as they like but this paired golfing gimmick is nothing more than a public relations assault on our great sport. I don’t want to say the game has hit Rock Bottom, other than to tie up this article to an eyebrow raising finish. I’m just not smelling what the European Tour is cooking with this one.