Please Please Me by keeping The Beatles out of the Open narrative

Mark McGowan

The Fab(ish) Four at Birkdale in '07 (Photo by Ross Kinnaird/R&A/R&A via Getty Images)

Whilst munching on my corn flakes this morning, I had an American golf podcast on in the background and the lamentations of one of the co-hosts caught my attention.

He was bemoaning the CBS commentators’ tendency to ram as many references to The Beatles as possible into any discussion about Liverpool with nearby Hoylake and Royal Liverpool Golf Club being the stage for the 151st Open Championship.

You’ll not find that here though, not like some Paperback Writer will you find me trying to shoehorn ‘Fab Four’ references into an article about the oldest championship in golf. Not when the stars of the PGA, DP World and LIV Golf Tour’s all Come Together and, Like Dreamers Do, take one look at the Claret Jug and say ‘I Fancy My Chances With You.’


No, not here. I’ll not be The Fool On The Hill, watching Tyrrell Hatton Twist And Shout every time a putt doesn’t find the hole, like some Lady pri-Madonna who can’t seem to comprehend that a ball goes where it does because that’s where you’ve hit it. Tyrrell, One And One Is Two, and What You’re Doing is just making a fool of yourself.

I’m more interested in the Helter Skelter journey between the dunes of Hoylake, and, With A Little Help From My Friends, trying to pick the winner. And what’s more, I’m confident We Can Work It Out.

Will it be Scottie Scheffler? Yesterday, all his troubles seemed so far away, but now his putting woes look here to stay. Quite simply, when it comes to the flatstick, he needs Help! and if he gets it, It Won’t Be Long until he’s back in the winners’ circle.

Will it be Rory McIlroy? Oh, Let It Be Rory. I’ve Got A Feeling that McIlroy is coming to the end of The Long And Winding Road that’s seen him go almost a decade without a major. Seemingly born to play golf like he’s Mother Nature’s Son, I’m not sure I could handle another repeat of the Misery of St. Andrews last year, Not A Second Time.

Many people are overlooking Jon Rahm, but not me, Not Guilty. It’s been reported that Rahm turned down offers as high as $400 million to join LIV, but turned them down ’cause he don’t care too much for money. That’s the kind of man I like and I’ll follow him to The End because That Means A Lot.

A lot of people fancy Padraig Harrington to Get Back to where he once belonged – on major championship podiums and on Ryder Cup teams – and The Word is that Luke Donald is thinking of giving Harrington a Ticket To Ride on the chartered jet to Rome in September. It’d be quite the turnaround with the Dubliner being a Nowhere Man since last making the team in 2010.

But, Do You Want To Know A Secret? There’s one name in particular that’s On The Tip Of My Tongue. He’ll be dressed like a Blackbird on Sunday, and From Me To You, when it comes to links golf, I’d pick him Eight Days A Week. That man is Shane Lowry. I’m backing him to take us on another Magical Mystery Tour ala Portrush back in 2019.

He’d be an extremely popular winner. In fact, Nobody I Know would begrudge him it.

So, go on, You Know What To Do, put on the Open Championship and watch the golf, and let’s hope the damned Sky Sports commentary team don’t sink as low as their American counterparts and try to bring The Beatles into the equation.

You’d never catch me at that.

Not even When I’m Sixty Four.

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