Golf doesn’t have to try so hard to be cool

There aren’t enough mulligans in the world to wash away the missteps of golf’s decision makers in 2024. And that’s not including the CEO horror show of PGA Tour commish Jay Monahan trying to shmooze dollars from a Saudi chequebook despite using the Kingdom’s role in 9/11 as a stick to beat his defecting LIV stars.

OK, so maybe that’s part of it, how could it not be? Golf’s reputation being dragged through a river of shit at the negotiating table and no chance of it coming out clean on the other side. But it’s a culmination of things that irks me as another year turns, and the root cause is contradiction.

There’s further reduced fields for the PGA Tour in 2025 as meritocracy fades into the distance. There’s the insistence of shoving exhibition golf down our throats as match after match devoid of personality and meaning falls flat at every measurable level. And then there’s the lies, like how this whole shambles is to make the game better for fans. The sane fans who are at best wholly forgotten, at worst punished at their pockets for trying to cling to the coattails of a game that lost the run of itself long ago – splintered tours, diluted competition and still Ryder Cup ticket prices out-gouge Oasis and the upcoming TGL’s cheap seats start at a piss-taking €150.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t know what to make of the TGL concept when I first heard it. A bunch of pros hitting into a simulator so they can feel like a bunch of amateurs trying to be pros. Then I saw Billy Horschel hitting out of a sandy driving range bay during a test run. And it was real sand! Could you believe it? No? Well apparently it was finely ground quartz. But still! This was finely ground quartz only to be found in the hazards of Augusta National. The only thing that could trump it would be a golf tournament held at Augusta itself where boys like Billy could follow their ball flight all the way to the green without their shots being interrupted by an oversized telly.

Honestly, we’ve entered the vortex with this one lads. We’re watching the world’s best golfers simulate what it’s like to be one of the world’s best golfers. Next we’ll be lining up to watch Tiger Woods play Tiger Woods Golf at the Old Course on PlayStation. You may consider this me coining that idea before this crazy world cashes it on it. EA Sports. It’s in the game.

I’ve read that the TGL will look to tap into the live betting market to make hay while the stage production light shines on Monday Night Flites but this is one step away from backing the virtual ponies during Cheltenham week. Would you be well?

Call me old fashioned but I don’t think golf has to degrade itself by pimping the pros out to the tech bros for prize money that more than likely will be paid in crypto. Before LIV came along, sure, the system had its faults but popularity wasn’t one of them. Golf had its place. Yes, it lagged way behind football and American football but that was always an unbridgeable gap, even with the Tiger Slam and Happy Gilmore combining to grow the game. Suddenly the Saudis inflate a golfer’s idea of self worth and we have guys like Tom Kim running ‘round thinking they should get paid the same as Tom Brady.

The game has lost the plot and with it, its integrity and identity have gone AWOL as out of touch tinker-men atop golf’s ivory tower brainstorm how to bring golf back from the dead. These guys probably thought-up this Happy Gilmore sequel too. Wheeling out an old classic for an ill-advised encore destined to fall way short of the original. A bit like Anthony Kim.

Expect the TGL to suffer a very similar fate.